Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest?

Letter G (lethargy)

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Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

What is every blonde's ambition in life?

To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?

Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.