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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

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How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What word has the most letters in it?

Postbox.

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

Chimney Jokes More Chimney Jokes

What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas Eve?

Because of the Ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Black Mail Jokes More Black Mail Jokes

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

What do you get if a post office burns down?

Black mail.