Chimney Jokes

What is Santas motto?

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

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What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?

Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

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What's White &amp Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky?

The coming of the Lord.

What do you name a deaf dog?

It doesn't matter, he ain't coming anyways.

Tourist Guide Jokes More Tourist Guide Jokes

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)

Auschwitz Jokes More Auschwitz Jokes

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Licence and registration please.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Why can't the sun talk?

First post) It doesn't have an ellipse.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did all the native people move out East?

Because there is no work out there.

What kind of bird works on a construction site?

A Crane.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?

Leave the plunger in the pot.