Chimney Jokes

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

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Why can't there be a Santa Pig?

Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

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What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

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He sold his soul to Santa.

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What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?

A four term US senator.

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What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

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What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live.