Chimney Jokes

What is Santas motto?

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

March Madness Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?

Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

You might also enjoy:

Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What do you call a psychic midget that escapes prison?

A small medium at large.

Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison?

He was charged with battery.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

What did the dyslexic person worship?

Santa.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

The obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Umbrella Jokes More Umbrella Jokes

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle b: fo shizzle C: fo nizzle D: fo bizzle

Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?

Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

What has more letters than the alphabet?

The post office.

Rub Jokes More Rub Jokes

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

What is green sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?

Chimney Cricket!

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!