What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

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Umbrella Jokes More Umbrella Jokes

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella with him everywhere?

Fa Drizzle

Why don't women need umbrellas?

Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Chimney Jokes More Chimney Jokes

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!