What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas?

Highway 55.

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What did Norman Bates call his little sister?

You know you see it coming...) A: Psycho-sis! (I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

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Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

Where do pirates go after they are thrown out of Kansas?

Arkansas

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What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

What's the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas!