Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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What did Sloth say when he found gold?

AU GUYS!!!

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

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Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

What do you call a black, seafaring plunderer?

Pirate. Unless you're a clever racist, then you might've said "nigarrr".

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Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Why do Stasi officers make such good taxi drivers?

You get in the car and they already know your name and where you live.

Arkansa Jokes More Arkansa Jokes

What is an Arkansas virgin?

A girl who can run faster than her brothers.

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

Kansas Jokes More Kansas Jokes

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas?

He'd be an illegal alien.