Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

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Why do people admire pirates so much?

They have nerves of steal.

What does a Pirate prefer to wear?

Doublet or nothing.

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What would romantic living dead movie be called?

Zombaes

What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in?

A roundhouse.

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What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas

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What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas