Kansas Jokes

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

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How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

What do you call Kansas overrun by pirates?

Arkansas

What's the inverse of Kansas?

Arkansas

Where do pirates go after they are thrown out of Kansas?

Arkansas

What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists?

Baryon my wayward son!

Where Do Pirates From Kansas Go?

AR-Kansas

Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and crossed the road again?

Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?

A bird that lays down!

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

Carrion Jokes More Carrion Jokes

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Driveway Jokes More Driveway Jokes

What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway?

Roy Jeep Biv

What does Drew Carey have in his driveway?

Cleveland Rocks!

State Jokes More State Jokes

Which state smells the worst?

The Prostate

What state has the smallest sodas?

Minisoda

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What dogs never get lost?

Newfound-lands!

How does The Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.