Vulture Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

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Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

Why do vultures hate flying?

Because they have to pay extra for Carrion!

What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

What do you call a vulture with no beak?

A head banger.

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

What does a vulture bring onto a plane?

Carrion luggage

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

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What is a bed's least favourite time of year?

Spring break.

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

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Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

Why didn't the cargo ship want to leave the bay?

Because it was a freight!

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What's the main problem with Wookie steaks?

They're a little Chewie. (Edit: Wookiee***)

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

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Why won't bankers go to the opera?

Because they quickly lose interest

What did Alex Trebek say when he was about to lose his job?

My career is in Jeopardy!

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america?

Because that would be illeagle

Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

Why don't airplanes make good dads?

They are always taking off.

What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?

Zoolander

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What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!