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How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who's there! Alexia! Alexia who?

Alexia again to open this door!

What does a Jedi use to open files?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What do you get when you push a cow out of a plane?

Ground beef

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing The penguin who pushed him

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

What did one cookie say to the other cookie?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable