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How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

How do you make an eggroll?

You push it.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough:

How was Rome split in half?

With a pair of Caesars...

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

Why did the dorito feel left out?

Cause he didn't chip in!