What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

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What did the pirate say when he saw a woman giving head?

There she blows!!!

Why is Santa Claus always a man?

Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.

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What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

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A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

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What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

Stillborn Jokes More Stillborn Jokes

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn