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18 Inch Jokes

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

Love

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Love

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why are they called jokes?

Because calling them Republican presidential candidates would make me cry.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why are men faster than women?

Ball bearings and stick shift.

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed?

Inception

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

Stillborn Jokes More Stillborn Jokes

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo?

An Eskimoji

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.