What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a time traveler do when he's hungry?

He goes back 4 seconds.

Why was the stadium so cool?

It was full of fans.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a successful CS:GO bettor spend the money on?

Vacation.

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

Ho, ho, ho!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What do Pimps and Santa have in common?

They stay with 3 ho's

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?

The other replies "That was no piccolo that was my fife."

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?

Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.