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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it?

DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME

What do you call a dog with iron balls?

Sparky.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why doesn't anyone ever add Paul Walker on Xbox?

He spends all of his time on the dashboard.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish!

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What makes Stevie Wonder?

What everything looks like.

What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?

Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.