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How do kids from chernobyl count to a 100?

On their fingers

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did the alien say to the gas pump?

Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you!

What did Sam say to the young Americans?

Guess where this finger's going.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?

100. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.