Blanket Jokes

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

How do you make antifreeze?

Take away her blanket!

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

What did the Hungarian man say before he went to bed?

I'm going to bed." Except he said it in Hungarian.

Electric Blanket Jokes More Electric Blanket Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

How did Whitney Houston take the drugs?

All at once.

What's Wayne Static's relationship with drugs?

I SEE IT!** ooooohh **I NEED IT!**(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Ps0MfBG5-Uo#t=1m24s)

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What did the deer say when the sportsman asked if he wanted to go hunting?

I'm game.

How does Queen Elizabeth win a game of poker?

She goes to the bathroom.

Toaster Jokes More Toaster Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

When do Arabs return their library books?

The day they're Dubai.

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Ps Jokes More Ps Jokes

What's a golfer's favourite games console?

A PS FOUR!

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.