Bed Sheet Jokes

What do you call a beetle in the bed sheets?

John Linen

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

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Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Sheet Music Jokes More Sheet Music Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Fiddle Jokes More Fiddle Jokes

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?

Without him the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.

Hotel Jokes More Hotel Jokes

What do witches ring for in a hotel?

B-room service.

Why did you offer me a piece of candy?

Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

What can you make and break at the same time?

A racket.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?

Because the market got flooded.

How do you call a jockey falling from his horse?

An Hippic fail.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog