I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"
Because he brought his own drumsticks
Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...
Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.
None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb.
You hear about them but never see them
You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.
My phone is turned off.
Looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker....
It's smoking a cigarette.
She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette
Q: Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets? A: To smell like big girls.
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.
There isn't one.
