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Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts?

LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Whatcha thinkin about?

Me: How ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby.

What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker?

You might get your baby back off a pitbull.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds?

Unsubscribe from r/jokes!

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

What did the muslim telemarketer say when he picked up the phone?

Halal?

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?

Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

How cold is it outside?

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.