What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

How can you tell if a road is sad?

It has low shoulders.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

What did Palpatine order in the drive thru?

Friiiiiiies

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

The guy likes his power chords too much.

How did people charge their phones before electricity?

They didn't...!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll get back to you in a few weeks

How long does it take King Zora to move out of your way?

A week, a week, a week, a week, a week, a week.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce?

Chicken sees-a salad

What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce?

A chicken ceaser salad.

Glance Jokes More Glance Jokes

What's the longest you've ever stared at your phone without glancing up to look at the road while driving?

For me it's three weeks.

How can you tell when a white guy is about to tell a joke?

He glances over his shoulder.