Key Jokes

What can't I find on the internet?

My keys

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

What's the key to a good joke?

Timing.

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

What's the the key to telling an ISIS joke?

The execution.

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

What's the key to long lasting Relationships?

Not breaking up

Who's there! Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s

What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What did the young witch say to her mother?

Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith?

There isn't one.

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

A dookie

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

What's the key to a Pirate Opera?

The High Cs

What kind of key opens a casket?

A skeleton key.

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

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Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

Thor Jokes More Thor Jokes

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

What do you call a Norse god after a workout?

Thor

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do monks, rabbis, and Mormon priests have in common with brains?

The all tend to be found enclosed within temples.

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey?

Darth Mule! A joke, from third grade me... Happy Star Wars day!

What do you call a donkey throwing nuts?

An astronaut.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?

Women!

Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding?

Because it was Low key

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables.

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Why aren't cars made out of wood?

Because they wooden go.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a people who serve in Thailand?

Thai Fighters

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse