Key Jokes

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before?

A key.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What can't I find on the internet?

My keys

What's the key to finding love?

Rohypnol

What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before?

A key.

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain?

MUH SOGGY KEYS!

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

What's the key to a good joke?

Timing.

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

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What's the the key to telling an ISIS joke?

The execution.

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

What's the key to long lasting Relationships?

Not breaking up

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

Who's there! Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s

What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey

What is long and likes to pry in a hole?

A key.

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Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

What did the young witch say to her mother?

Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith?

There isn't one.

Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Why is the door knob?

Because the key. (ok, i will show myself out)

What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

A dookie

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

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What's the key to a Pirate Opera?

The High Cs

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

What kind of key opens a casket?

A skeleton key.

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

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What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Who is the oldest singer on the Internet?

Click Jagger.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why is it hard for Arab men to have a guy's night out?

They have to find babysitters for their wives.

Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find her?

Because she's Transparent.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Lebron go to college?

He didn't want to show up for the finals

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

Who's there! Banana! Banana who?

Banana split so ice creamed!

What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

Minor Jokes More Minor Jokes

What was Michael Jackson's favourite musical key?

A Minor

What's a pedos favourite key?

A minor.

Row Row Jokes More Row Row Jokes

What is the Puerto Rican national anthem?

Row row row your boat

What's a Cuban's favorite song?

Row row row your boat Over to Key West Scarily scarily scarily scarily Avoid the INS

Arc Jokes More Arc Jokes

What do Alicia Keys, Katniss Everdeen, and Joan of Arc all have in common?

They're all girls on fire.

What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?

Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.