Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

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Where do you usually find dogs?

It all depends on where you lose them.

Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry.

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Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

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Which musician is the most generous?

Cher

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

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Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.