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Why did the musician hate getting drunk?

He always had treble finding his keys!

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Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.

What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

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Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

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What kind of investments do musicians make?

Sound investments.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

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Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a