Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do a dog and a near-sighted gynecologist have in common?

They both have wet noses.

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry?

Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

Alright, let's get down to beeswax!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick?

Cause their cars are always Stalin

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why don't women drink beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

How did they break in?

Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.

What's the key to long lasting Relationships?

Not breaking up

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good