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Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog that can find something that's not there?

A Labracadabrador

Why didn't you answer your home phone?

Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.

Why don't rabbits like beer?

Because it messes with their hops

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

How was work?

Flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good