What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A dressmaker tucks up frills.

What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up?

A Dell.

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Why did the Redditors like when a tornado hit a fence?

There was a lot of reposting to do

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games?

They didn't have enough pitchers.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of beer?

All of them

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What is it called when you call your ex?

Ex-communication

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.