Ex Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

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What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

Ex-spearmints

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by.

What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?

Old Bay.

What do you call it when an ex pees on you?

EX-STREAM!

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

There was a porkward silence

What is it called when you call your ex?

Ex-communication

What's denser than a black hole?

Your ex.

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Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What happened to the naughty little witch at school?

She was ex-spelled.

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What do you call someone who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Why was ex so lonely at the party?

Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-Terminator!

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Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore?

Old Bae

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

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Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

What did the two rednecks say after breaking up?

Let's just be cousins.

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A horse and rider.

Ex Benedict Jokes More Ex Benedict Jokes

What do you call the Pope after he's resigned?

Ex-Benedict.

What do you call someone who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Gum Jokes More Gum Jokes

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

The attorney charges more.

What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant?

They both have wings, except for the elephant.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Chew Jokes More Chew Jokes

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.