Ex Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

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What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

Ex-spearmints

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by.

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?

Old Bay.

What do you call it when an ex pees on you?

EX-STREAM!

What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

There was a porkward silence

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What is it called when you call your ex?

Ex-communication

What's denser than a black hole?

Your ex.

Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do.

Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What happened to the naughty little witch at school?

She was ex-spelled.

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

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What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What do you call someone who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Why was ex so lonely at the party?

Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-Terminator!

What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore?

Old Bae

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

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What do you call someone who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

What super hero league is Caitlyn Jenner part of?

The X-Men

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the difference between a pick-up artist and an Atari 2600?

An Atari 2600 has more game.

What is the mathematician's favorite pick-up line?

Hey baby, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?

Stream Jokes More Stream Jokes

Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers?

A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams

Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?

Because they couldn't cross the streams.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

What the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

The pencil has a point

Ex Benedict Jokes More Ex Benedict Jokes

What do you call the Pope after he's resigned?

Ex-Benedict.

What do you call Pope Benedict after his final day in the papal office?

Ex-Benedict.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

What do rednecks say after they broke up?

We can still be brother and sister.

What's a rednecks favorite part of archaology?

Relative dating

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say?

That's a salt!

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized