When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.
They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas
It's too complex
His hand caught on fire.
She threw out all the W's.
Because he's married.
Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!
You Cantaloupe.
Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else
So he could watch the football
It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.
He tried fighting fire with fire.
His boss always took him for granite.
Unemployed.
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Your ex.
Ex-Benedict
