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What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why are dogs and engineers alike?

They both have intelligent eyes, but neither can talk properly.

How tough was medical school for a dog like you?

DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

Insolvent

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

What do you do when you see a floating T.V. in the middle of the night?

Tell Jamal to drop it

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Why does Wonder Woman fly?

Because she can't drive for sh*t.

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.