What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?

A sheep that can round itself up!

What's the wrong way to feed the cat?

To the dog.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the snake say when another asked him the time?

Don't asp me!

Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?

Because it crashes all the time.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box?

Corpell tunnel syndrome

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

Where does Max Planck go for a night out?

To the h-bar

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What makes Stevie Wonder?

What everything looks like.

What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world?

The Colossus of Scrotes.