What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out.

What's the difference between a gun and amnesia?

Oh shoot, I forgot...

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

Why do you always need to take 2 baptists on a fishing trip instead of one?

If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?

A short one!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

Whos the funniest disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

F Jokes More F Jokes

Why Did The Blind Student Get an F On His Paper?

He didn't sight sources.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What's black and always behind bars?

Guinness (You bunch of racists)

Why did the rabbi walk into the bar?

Because he likes oldfashioned jokes.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

How did the dog get into the locked cemetery at night?

He used a skeleton key.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What does a chef call an undercover cop?

Pig in a blanket.

Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?

He was a little shoat.

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner?

Because it's shellfish.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.