Hog Jokes

What do you call a book case hogging all the books?

Shelf-ish

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Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

Where do hogs keep their money?

In piggy banks.

Why do pigs make good spies?

They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur?

Sir Lunchalot.

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

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Wayne Jokes More Wayne Jokes

Why was lil' Wayne tired after programming?

He did too much coding.

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

Playground Jokes More Playground Jokes

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

Shellfish Jokes More Shellfish Jokes

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!

Little Piglet Jokes More Little Piglet Jokes

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

What do little piglets do on a Saturday night?

Have a pigjama party!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What sits in the middle of the world wide web?

A very very big spider!

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

What do you call a pig......with an unusually high IQ?

Einswine

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy?

I'll let you know when I find out...

What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi?

I let women know that i have a jacuzzi

Good Spy Jokes More Good Spy Jokes

Why do pigs make good spies?

They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.