Hog Jokes

What do you call a book case hogging all the books?

Shelf-ish

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Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

Where do hogs keep their money?

In piggy banks.

Why do pigs make good spies?

They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur?

Sir Lunchalot.

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

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Why do pigs make good spies?

They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man that marries another man?

A minister! Courtesy of a patient.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?

The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How did the chicken cross the freeway?

You take the 'F' out of free and the 'F' out of way. Hint: say everything out loud.

What's the opposite of effort?

F it.

Wayne Jokes More Wayne Jokes

What does Wayne Gretzky's wife call him?

Wayne

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's the exchange rate for pigs and trees?

A porcupine.

What was the pig when he got laryngitis...?

He was dis-gruntled!

Oyster Jokes More Oyster Jokes

What do you call an oyster who can't find another job?

A clamboni driver!

What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself?

A shell-fie

King Arthur Jokes More King Arthur Jokes

What did King Arthur have for breakfast?

Eggcalibur.

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?

A knight light

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books.

How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.