Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.
Don't Stop
He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.
I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.
His lips are moving.
You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.
He hibernated in the summer.
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)
He heard the snow blower was coming.
You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.
Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five
Because there's a BartEnder there.
And the polar bear says, "Oh, I've always had them."
