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How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did the bucket's mom know he was sick?

He was a little pail.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis?

She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!

How awesome were the 50s?

None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

How are UFO's related to hamburgers?

Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why did the Crab not share any plankton with his friends?

Because he was shellfish.

Why Don't Lobsters Share?

Because they're shellfish.

Introduce Jokes More Introduce Jokes

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

How does a chemist introduce Batman?

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!