What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

This joke may have profanity.

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Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew?

Because one more, and it'd be too farty.

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

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What's Irish and sits out all night?

Patio furniture.