The lanlord!
Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)
John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said
Grandparents.
A Nordic Track.
Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".
Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.