Rent Jokes

What kind of Ant lives in rented accommodation?

Tenants.

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Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Doesn't matter, ants can't rent a house

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room?

Sorry this is only a four star hotel.

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

How much is the rent for this amazing apartment?

Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.

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Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby?

Bettas

Flick Jokes More Flick Jokes

Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger

How many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?

No IT guys change light bulbs, they just keep flicking the switch on and off again until something happens.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

What did the kid ask the Pirate?

Kid asks, "Where are your buccaneers?" Pirate replies, "They're under my Buccan Hat!"

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

Where can Sihks and Muslims buy headwear?

Turban Outfitters.

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?

Antteneye!

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

What does an orphan and a bottle of champagne have in common?

They both lost their pop.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

ROBIN, GET IN THE BATMOBILE!