Dinosaur Jokes

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn't exist yet.

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What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

What do you call a dinosaur who just got out of a relationship?

Tyrannosaurus Ex

What do you call a dinosaur that's in a hurry?

A Prontosaur.

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A Thesaurus.

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

What do you call it when a dinosaur can't get it up?

Ereptile dysfunction

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.

What do you call a dinosaur that raps about life?

A philosorapper

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Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?

A flossiraptor

Which Dinosaurs love electricity?

Bulbasaurs

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman?

RAWR!

Which dinosaur walks with a limp?

A Myfeetasaur

What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?

A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.

Which dinosaur named all the others?

The Thesaurus

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

What do you call a dinosaur having brunch?

Tea-Rex

Why couldn't the dinosaur cross the road?

There were no roads!

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Who has scene a dinosaur?

No one! They're extinct!

What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at Christmas.

What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?

Tomato-saurus

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

What do you call a dinosaur with an English degree?

Thesaurus.

What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash?

A StayGosaurus

What did the dinosaur say after the car crash?

I'msosaurus

How do dinosaurs smell?

Ex-stinky

What dinosaur has the best vocabulary?

The bronthesaurus.

What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

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Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from?

Vlasic Park

How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?

Tea Rex

What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?

What a lavaly day!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?

A stinkasaurus!

What do you call a dinosaur with too much power?

A tyrant-osaurus rex!

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive?

Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Which dinosaur was the hardest to find?

The Steganosaurus! And do you know why...because it was encryptid!

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide &amp seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

What's the best moment of your life?

Me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?

Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

What dinosaur knows the most words?

Thesaurus.

What do you call a dinosaur with a super high automobile insurance premium?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

Because they're all dead.

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?

To get in his nest.

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?

Dino-mite.

What dinosaur loves pancakes?

A tri-syrup-tops.

What do you call a dinosaur you just insulted?

T-REKT.

What followed the dinosaur?

It's tail!

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

Stegosaur-rust!

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)

Which dinosaur knew... Q: Which dinosaur knew the most words?

The thesaurus.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?

A Bronte-saurus.

What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together?

Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

What's red on the outside and green on the inside?

A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

Down in the mouth!

How do dinosaurs like their chicken?

RAWWWWWWWW!!!!

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

Rep Tiles

What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?

A legosaurus! Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?

His tricycle will be parked outside.

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?

Because they were veloco*raptured*.

What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?

Bronco-saurus!

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

They can't hide behind billboards.

What do you call an Irishman who studies dinosaurs?

A paleontologist.

What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite?

The where petrified.

What do you call... What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A doyouthinkhesawus (saurus)!

What's another name for a dinosaur?

A thesaurus.

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex...

What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs?

We don't need an asteroid...

What did you call a dinosaur that keeps you awake at night?

Bronto-snore-us!

Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?

They outgrew their leotards.

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A stega-snore-us.

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What's the difference between 3 and 13?

Nothing, they both have 1 3

What's the difference between illegal and unlawful?

One is against the law, the other is a sick bird.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe?

So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in.

What do you tell a diabetic girl in bed?

Hi sugar

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

What do you get when you smoke pot with a bee in a candy shop?

A sweet buzz!

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

What dinosaur was in the most pain?

The tyranno-sorest rex

Hurry Jokes More Hurry Jokes

Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city?

He was running out of patients.

What do you call a bat in a hurry?

A racing club

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

What do you call a Muslim basketball player's best move?

Islam Dunk

What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

You should Bill Gates.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon?

A parsnip.