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How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

Turkey.

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

Thesaurus Jokes More Thesaurus Jokes

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

Steven Wright joke, iirc.

Which dinosaur named all the others?

The Thesaurus

Panic Jokes More Panic Jokes

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?

It was an emergent sea.