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What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at Christmas.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?

He Shanghai.

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

Dragon Jokes More Dragon Jokes

What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window?

The Defenestration of Smaug.

What do Scrooge McDuck and dragons have in common?

They love to swim in gold coins.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes... A FSHHH

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?

They can't hide behind billboards.