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Mountain Jokes

Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What would a Scotsman call a mountain which is on the moon?

A moon-tain.

How does the author of Harry Potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by.

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

How do you add up a mountain?

You summit.

How did Harry Potter get down the mountain?

Running... JK rolling

How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain?

Acceptable

Why do I always sit in the back of an airplane?

Cos iv never heard of an airplane reverse into a mountain... ill help myself out...

What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert?

Very tired feet.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?

It's not my fault.

What is green and glides down a mountain?

A skiwi

What do you call a mountain of kittens?

A meowtain

Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.

What did the mountain say to the desert?

You're hot

Why do mountains make people laugh?

Because they're hill-areas!

Why don't mountains get cold?

They wear snow caps. *cringe* Courtesy of Westjet's horrible phone line.

What do you call a mountain of puns?

Mount Cleverest

What did the tree say to the mountain?

Stop peaking at me.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby?

A cry for Alp!

What's tall, white and has ears?

A mountain.

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain?

A *smaugasbord*.

What did one mountain say to the other mountain?

Nothing. They were both stoned.

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

You see, mountains aren't just funny.

They are hill areas.

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Warn Jokes More Warn Jokes

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

How do you keep water warn in the winter?

Have it wear an aqua-fur.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What is the difference between a podiatrist and Ginger Baker?

A podiatrist bucks up your feet.

What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it?

Unbereavable.

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

What is the definition of "moon"?

The past tense of "moo"!

Who's there! Biro! Biro who?

Biro light of the moon!

Mountain Climber Jokes More Mountain Climber Jokes

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

High Point Jokes More High Point Jokes

What is the highest point in Israel?

Mountain Dew.

What's the highest point in the ocean?

The Marijuanas Trench.

Hi Jokes More Hi Jokes

How high are you!?

Demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

Hi, Cliff

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokemon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

What game does a black dad and son play forever?

Hide n' seek

Descend Jokes More Descend Jokes

What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand?

I sink therefore I am.

What does IS call the evolutionary theory that humans are descended from the ape family?

Boko Harambe