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What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Belong Jokes More Belong Jokes

What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster?

Grandma monster

What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other?

Brothers from Another Mothership.