Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What gets bigger every time I see my wife?

My wife.

How does the alchemist please his wife?

Elixir!!!!!

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat?

Ba dum ship.

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Where did the dog find her husband?

At the Groomers!

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why did the rope go to jail?

Because he was knotty

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

Why do software developers make the best relationship partners?

Because they're not afraid of committing.

Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber?

He committed barbercide.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?

It was wrong on so many levels.

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!