Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

Asks his wife. "31 black"

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Why did the Amish woman divorce her husband?

Because he was driving her buggy.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat

What's the best part about golf?

It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail?

Treeson

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What crime was committed against the coffee?

He was mugged.

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

What happened after the word bank was robbed?

There was a run on sentences.

What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian?

Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "