What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does an alcoholic ghost drink?

BOO'S.

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

Who held the baby octopus to ransom?

Squidnappers!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What's the difference between fight club and veganism?

You don't talk about fight club.

What do you do when two snails have a fight?

Leave them to slug it out.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What does a beer say when it's cold?

Buuuurrrrrr!!!