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Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

The man responds "If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"

Why does an elephant have 4 Feet?

Because it would look ridiculous with 8 inches.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music?

Dokken

Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

What would Jesus actually do?

Probably ban nail guns

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

Why do pirates love football so much?

Cus they love to count YAAAARds.

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

Which insect didn't play well in goal?

The fumble bee!

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

What were you doing?

Flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."