Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah

What do farmers say when something is important to them?

It plays a big tractor.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How do we know Jesus was a man?

We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming.

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why is football the single best sport?

Because Americans don't play it.

Why do artists never win when they play football?

They keep drawing!

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

Where's the dog?

Flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.