Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in.

What the hell are you doing with that ivory and gold dress?

I said, "It's not what it looks like!"

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What game do lesbians like to play?

Clash of Clams

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What would Jesus do?

Is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

Whats an Italians favourite part of football?

Half time, they get to switch sides again

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

What did the Mexico team travel back home with?

Luggage full of goals.

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why was that guy yelling at you?

Flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.