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What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey

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Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What did the banana say to the orange?

Fruit can't talk

What did the Banana say to the Monkey?

Yo You peel me

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What are you going to do for a face?

When the monkey wants its bum back?

How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?

About 6 hours.

Key Jokes More Key Jokes

What's the the key to telling an ISIS joke?

The execution.

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger