How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

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Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Why can't you find pirates in Kansas?

They all live in Arkansas

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How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

What kind of phone does a burglar use?

A no-key-a

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How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?

Gingerly.

What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade?

Drill drill drill.

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How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

Be too drunk to find your keys.

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.