March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Cigarette Jokes

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The one smoking the cigarette.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

March Madness Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

How are Cigarettes like Hamsters?

They're harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire

What is a hippies favourite type of cigarette?

Yours

What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette?

Yours.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.

What's the difference between a cigarette and my exwife?

Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.

How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette?

Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you.

What kind of cigarettes do California kids smoke?

Yours.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

March Madness Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you name a dog with no legs?

Cigarette" because you take him out for a drag.

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?

Mahalo bro lights.

What're you in for?

I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."

How did they light their cigarettes?

One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.

What does an Arab do after riding his camel?

He has a cigarette!

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

Why shouldn't Spanish women smoke cigarettes?

You shouldn't smoke if your pregnant.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

March Madness Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?

Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.

Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing?

To get some fresh air

How do you ask for a cigarette in Spain?

Tapas a snout!

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

How do they get to smoke their cigarettes?

They throw one cigarette overboard, which make the boat a cigarette lighter.

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

You might also enjoy:

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How often to wizard journalists get paid?

They make a Daily Prophet.

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What did Ferris Bueller do after he graduated high school?

He went to Europe to study a-Broderick

What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe?

The Continental OP.

Big Bang Jokes More Big Bang Jokes

What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

Why is it called Big Bang?

Baby universe was born.

Bad Day Jokes More Bad Day Jokes

What was your worst day?

When I had diarrhea.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What do you call a boat that won't float?

Bloated.

What kind of oranges do you take on a boat?

Naval oranges. I'msosorry.

Hamster Jokes More Hamster Jokes

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster?

The train got windows

How are Cigarettes like Hamsters?

They're harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire