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Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

She couldn't find the 10 key.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What do you call a James Bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

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Goodbye Jokes More Goodbye Jokes

What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer?

Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"

How do you say goodbye to German cheese?

Velveetazane

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

Why was there a dyslexic stormtrooper?

Sith happens.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter?

9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!

Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?

Because it's traveling light!

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?

1%

What's DJ Khaled's favourite number?

11, Because it has another 1.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

What do you use to compare and contrast nordic cultures?

A Sven diagram!

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call the science of knives?

Cutting edge technology.

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.