Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

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How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

She couldn't find the 10 key.

What do you call a James Bond film about a calculator?

Casio royale

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do calculators do when they love each other?

They multiply!

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Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?

They've both got ice on the inside.

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread?

Don't worry, someone will tell you.

How can you tell if a tornado is stupid?

If it spins anti-cyclonically

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did the hipster dislike physics?

Cause the system is broke, yo.

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

Cause Charlie don't serf.

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

What do you call a Sith Lord who refuses to fight?

A sithy.

Add Jokes More Add Jokes

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Who do you sell second hand bikes to?

A re-cyclist.

Why didn't Beethoven sell his house?

He put it up Fur Elise!

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.