Harry Potter Jokes

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

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How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut?

Diagon alley

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K. Rowling

What spell does Harry Potter use on Halloween?

Spoopify

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

By walking...... JK Rowling

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

Why do so many people like Harry Potter?

It's a charming story.

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?

Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan

How does the author of Harry Potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling

Why is Harry Potter so popular?

The story grows on you.

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How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies?

Because they lactate.

How does Harry Potter do web design?

Inspecto Elemento

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.

Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?

Because they were only a quideach

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?

Walking JK, Rolling.

How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter?

9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill?

Running... JK! Rolling

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

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What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?

A Harry Potter

Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison?

Because he catches all the snitches!

What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar?

I Expectsum Patronum

How did Harry Potter cross the road?

Walking Jk rolling

What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!

What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions?

You're a lizard Harry!

Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?

A ginger kid has 2 friends!

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking... JK Rolling

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

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Why do Fencers avoid posting on reddit?

They are afraid of the Reposte.

What do you call a girl between two posts?

Annette.

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What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

Post.

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday?

Because they like to pumpkin.

Why doesn't India celebrate Halloween?

No Gandhi

Broomstick Jokes More Broomstick Jokes

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a good grip on the broomstick

How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts?

Quid each.

German Version Jokes More German Version Jokes

Potion Jokes More Potion Jokes

How does a wizard keep his potions safe from burglary?

With a warlock.

Why wouldn't the Kabuto share his Potion?

He was a little shellfish.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag?

About 5 seconds.

What sound will reddit make when it blows up?

Nothing, it's just a website.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

What gas is best dressed at a dinner party?

Formaldehyde