Harry Potter Jokes

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

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How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut?

Diagon alley

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K. Rowling

What spell does Harry Potter use on Halloween?

Spoopify

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

By walking...... JK Rowling

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

Why do so many people like Harry Potter?

It's a charming story.

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?

Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan

How does the author of Harry Potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

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Why is Harry Potter so popular?

The story grows on you.

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

How do Harry Potter fans flirt?

Hey baby, mind if I?

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies?

Because they lactate.

How does Harry Potter do web design?

Inspecto Elemento

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

He was caught playing with his broomstick.

Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?

Because they were only a quideach

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Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?

Because they have a quidditch.

What's Harry Potter's favorite way of getting down a hill?

Walking JK, Rolling.

What does Harry Potter do when he gets Ginny Pregnant?

Cast Fetus Deletus.

How Obsessed am I with Harry Potter?

9 3/4 *Credit goes to a tee shirt I saw. I'm not that witty.*

What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill?

Running... JK! Rolling

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?

A Harry Potter

Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison?

Because he catches all the snitches!

What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar?

I Expectsum Patronum

How did Harry Potter cross the road?

Walking Jk rolling

What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar?

Expecto-Patron-On-Ice

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!

What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions?

You're a lizard Harry!

Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc?

A ginger kid has 2 friends!

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking... JK Rolling

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter?

Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

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What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Why did the Pentagon change it's name to the square?

Because they were cutting corners.

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How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Why can you never get caught with a 0 in math?

Because cot(0) doesn't exist... This joke... it burns my eyes...

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Why don't ghosts play sports?

Boo!

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

Why was the ghost late to the Halloween party?

He had to take a sheet.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

J.K Jokes More J.K Jokes

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K. Rowling

What did the 3D Vector say after making a bad joke?

I j k

Jk Rolling Jokes More Jk Rolling Jokes

Whats Harry Potters favourite way of getting down a hill?

Walking. JK ROLLING

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking. JK ROLLING

Uncle Vernon Jokes More Uncle Vernon Jokes

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

Post.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

How do we know God's not a woman?

We're not sandwiches.

What do the members of Blackstreet like on their sandwiches?

Mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo