How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

This joke may have profanity.
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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

Because while I wait I like to be introspective

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Who are the biggest nay-sayers on Earth?

Horses

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How does a woman fix a ceiling problem?

She complains to a man.

What does the doctor say to the woman who has to get a c section?

There's not enough womb!

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

God Jokes More God Jokes

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.