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What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

Tattoo master

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What do you call a bitten apple?

An Iphone. What is bigger than an Iphone -A brick. What is smaller than an Ipad -An Ipad Mini.

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

In bytes

How can you tell when there's an elephant in your sandwich?

When it's too heavy to lift.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?

Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

What is E.T. short for?

So he can fit on a spaceship.