What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the zombie farmer say he wanted?

Grrraaaaiiinnns...

What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime?

Econoclasts.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

Why was Luis Surez expelled from the rap contest?

Because he was biting.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

In bytes

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

What is long, hard and leaves a warm, white, sticky substance in your mouth?

Toothbrush.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?

You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum