Bite Jokes

How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

April Sale

We've Got This Love Thing Down

$5.99

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

What do you call it when you turn into a vampire before being bitten?

Premature Edraculation

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

What is red and hurts when you bite it?

A Brick.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

How did the hipster burn his tounge?

He bit into his flat bread before it was cool!

What do you do if you get bit by something poisonous?

Don't bite it back in retaliation.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can! Why can't humans?

Because they'll bite us!

What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off?

Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle.

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?

Nothing. He just grit his teeth.

What is it?

It has legs, but doesn't walk, beak, but it doesn't bite and wings, but it doesn't fly. What is it? -A dead crow

Why was Luis Surez expelled from the rap contest?

Because he was biting.

Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark?

Professional courtesy.

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

What do you call a bitten apple?

An Iphone. What is bigger than an Iphone -A brick. What is smaller than an Ipad -An Ipad Mini.

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?

His balk was worse than his bite!

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm?

Biting an apple and finding half a worm

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

What do you get when a vampire bites a goblin?

A Hemogoblin

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse?

I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?

Frost bite!

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?

Don't bite any witches!

What do you say when you step on a snake?

Well that bites.

April Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

Why was Luis Suarez expelled from the rap contest?

Because he was biting.

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

Replace the nails with screws.

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!

What happens when a T-Rex bites you?

You get a dino-sore.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?

To improve his bite!

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?

His bark was much worse than it's bite!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why did Dracula go to the orthodontist?

He wanted to improve his bite.

Which people do the burgers hate?

The ones who are always putting the bite on them!

What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil?

One rarely bites and the other barely writes!

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch!

Why is a toothless dog like a tree?

It has more bark than bite.

What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A tiger moth!

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

When do vampires bite you?

On Wincedays.

What do you call an electro-food?

It's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!

Why was the iPad sad?

Someone took a bite out of its Apple.

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?

A computer with a lot of bites!

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

You might also enjoy:

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself?

Because it didn't have the nerves.

What's black and blue and about to hurt someone?

Batman thinking about his dead parents.

D Jokes More D Jokes

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth?

Worm Jokes More Worm Jokes

Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys!

Why did the fish jump out of the water?

Because he was hooked on worms.

Dust Jokes More Dust Jokes

What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A lot, apparently. Have you seen their new building?

White Cop Jokes More White Cop Jokes

Brick Jokes More Brick Jokes

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

New I Phone Jokes More New I Phone Jokes

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.