Brick Jokes

What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

What is red and hurts when you bite it?

A Brick.

What did the brick say to the rock?

Nothing, it's just a brick, what's wrong with you.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What's the difference between OP and a brick?

A brick gets laid!

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

What is the difference between a Windows Phone and a brick?

One is a brick and the other is a brick with a screen

How do you hire an elephant?

Stand it on four bricks!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick?

Bricks get laid.

What is Klaus Teuber's (designer of Settlers of Catan) favorite TV show?

Brick and Orety

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A Brick.

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Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

Why does Kanye West need a billion dollars for ideas?

Ben Franklin discovered electricity with a kite.

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Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

How much do you think I will be losing with this?

Pharmacist replies: Well... around 200 bucks.

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What car do polite cowboys drive?

Audi!

How did the inventor of the car advertise his new "horse-less carriage"?

He said it goes without a hitch!

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Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

What does a two-headed cat say??

Weow!

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

Why is Mike Pence magic?

He can turn fruits to vegetables

What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

Why did the big pig want to go on stage?

There was a lot of ham in him.