Obese Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

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Fitness Jokes More Fitness Jokes

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

Sprint Jokes More Sprint Jokes

What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use?

Sprint

What did the man with Verizon say to the woman with Sprint?

You better Sprint on over to the Verizon store.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of disorganized cats?

A cat-tastrophe.

What did the group of young deer do with the broken jukebox?

They fixed it because they're the fawns

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Notch Jokes More Notch Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why do I need a wingman?

How's a half-man half-bird freak gonna get me laid

What helps humans get laid but is deadly for fish?

Pick up lines

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

Diddly Squat Jokes More Diddly Squat Jokes

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat