Obese Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

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American Jokes More American Jokes

How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

How do you call a person that speaks only one language?

An American

Fortune Teller Jokes More Fortune Teller Jokes

Why couldn't the fortune teller fit into her shirt?

Because she's a medium

Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why was Luis Surez expelled from the rap contest?

Because he was biting.

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch!

Diddly Squat Jokes More Diddly Squat Jokes

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

Obese People Jokes More Obese People Jokes

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"