Obese Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

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Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Sprint Jokes More Sprint Jokes

What did the man with Verizon say to the woman with Sprint?

You better Sprint on over to the Verizon store.

What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use?

Sprint

Brick Jokes More Brick Jokes

What is red and hurts when you bite it?

A Brick.

What is Klaus Teuber's (designer of Settlers of Catan) favorite TV show?

Brick and Orety

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why does the food take so long at an Internet cafe?

Because the servers cannot be found

Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?

Because everyone was a goblin